mamababy

this kid 🤦‍♀️😍 I never stop wondering how we got this lucky

I got pregnant with Bea only 4 months after losing Callum. The anxiety was absolutely insane. It broke me many, many times

I remember at my toughest moments-- even before I could feel her moving around-- just talking to her spirit and asking her if she was going to stick around

I always got back a "I'm good, just relax, this IS happening" 👌

Mamababy bond is something otherworldly and never broken (on the other side, in the womb, or in our reality)

I asked my guides to send a song to me so I could sing it to her and to myself

It came early one morning, just out of a dream. It was not what I expected. It was the first song from Cinderella:

"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep

In dreams you will lose your heartache, whatever you wish for you keep

Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come smiling through

No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true"

It became a mantra throughout her time in my belly. A focus point to remind me to have faith when I was faithless, to have vision for the future when I couldn't see shit, to have hope that my child would eventually come to me alive

Amazing what magic happens when you are desperate and lonely and grieving-- certainly not the lush fertile space you would ever expect

Anyway, here I am with my smiling rainbow face

The one who saved me in the depths of my deepest pain. The one who held my face when I cried today and told me everything is going to be okay. The one who makes up the silliest names for baby #3 (it's strawberry candy head today 🤣). The one who reminds me of the new life we have on the horizon

I couldn't be luckier to have her sweet voice and big heart call me "mommy"